The six step pause

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. Eleanor Roosevelt 1884 – 1962 Most of our days — and therefore most of our lives — are filled with routine, mundane events. But many days we encounter pivotal moments, also known as key moments, as well. These are moments fraught with emotional stress: disagreements with a co-worker or a loved one; being criticized by your boss, spouse or close friend; discovering your work or home routine will be significantly changed. …
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Not a contest

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. Dale Carnegie 1888 – 1955 I don’t know about you, but I can remember hearing parents tell kids to clean their plates because “children are starving in India”. (Africa was often cited as well.) It was meant to make the kids appreciate the fact that they had food to eat, but it rarely had the desired effect. There’s a similar technique some people employ with adults. When a friend or family member expresses dissatisfaction or disappointment, a counter-example of a worse situation is …
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You win, I lose

But I like not these great success of yours; for I know how jealous are the gods. Herodotus 484 BC – 409 BC I’ve noticed a worrying trend lately among different people and groups: the habit of viewing another person’s victory as a personal defeat. Don’t get me wrong; it’s perfectly understandable to be disappointed if you and another person are directly competing for an award, promotion, or other accolade and you don’t win. In that case, the natural reaction when learning the news is to consider how the outcome affects you. The problem arises when someone’s victory has no direct bearing on you, …
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