Who holds the keys?

Never let the other fellow set the agenda. James Baker 1930 – I’d like you to consider a question: what would it take to make you happy–or at least happier than you are now? What changes in your life do you long for the most? Take a moment or two and really give this issue some thought. I don’t know what circumstances sprang to mind for each of you. But if you’re like most people, you have a few deeply held desires, and you believe that attaining them would make you truly happy. Now imagine that you’re in a warehouse …
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The when, then trap: Part two

It’s the easiest thing in the world for a man to deceive himself. Benjamin Franklin 1706 – 1790 Last week, I introduced the idea of the when, then trap. I wanted to revisit it this week because it’s such an important concept — and it’s easy to convince ourselves that it only applies to other people. But I believe we all fall into the when, then trap a lot more often than we realize. At one point, I was working with a client who was in a dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship. He was complaining quite a bit about his partner, so …
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Wants and needs

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth. George Bernard Shaw 1856 – 1950 I generally enjoy reading the daily comics in the newspaper. I usually find some humor, and occasionally I find a profound lesson. I’d like to share a story from┬áThe Family Circus that provided a great lesson we can all use. If you’re not familiar with The Family Circus, it’s a comic strip about a typical family: a couple with four young children, two dogs and a cat. In this particular strip, the first section showed the young boy standing next to the towel …
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