The when, then trap: Part two

It’s the easiest thing in the world for a man to deceive himself. Benjamin Franklin 1706 – 1790 Last week, I introduced the idea of the when, then trap. I wanted to revisit it this week because it’s such an important concept — and it’s easy to convince ourselves that it only applies to other people. But I believe we all fall into the when, then trap a lot more often than we realize. At one point, I was working with a client who was in a dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship. He was complaining quite a bit about his partner, so …
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Wants and needs

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth. George Bernard Shaw 1856 – 1950 I generally enjoy reading the daily comics in the newspaper. I usually find some humor, and occasionally I find a profound lesson. I’d like to share a story from The Family Circus that provided a great lesson we can all use. If you’re not familiar with The Family Circus, it’s a comic strip about a typical family: a couple with four young children, two dogs and a cat. In this particular strip, the first section showed the young boy standing next to the towel …
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Looking for solutions

Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got. Jim Rohn 1930 – 2009 Recently, I was working with a businessman who was concerned about the decline in his business. My first step was to get him to list all the reasons which, in his opinion, were responsible for the downturn. He mentioned the general economy and the local economy, a new competitor nearby, his “behind the times” supplier, and the list went on and on. When he’d finished noting all the reasons he could think of to account for the decline in business, I asked him …
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