Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Viktor E. Frankl
1905 – 1997
What’s your scariest thought?
Think about that for a minute. What frightens you the most? Right now, a significant percent of the U.S. population might say their greatest fear is Donald Trump being elected President; another segment of the population would say the same about Hillary Clinton. Some would say terrorism or gun violence frightens them most, while others fear being unable to support themselves in a world of rising costs but stagnant wages.
I’ll admit that these thoughts can be quite alarming, but I really don’t think those issues are what people fear most.
I work with a wide variety of individuals, helping them identify and achieve their goals. One of the most common behaviors I see is a tendency to shift responsibility for their current situation. If people are having trouble in a relationship, they blame the other party. If they’ve lost a job, it’s due to the economy. If their children are having trouble in school or college, it’s the teachers, professors, or culture that’s to blame. We attribute our misfortunes to God, the Devil, the government, the “system”, our friends, our enemies, and other uncontrollable factors. In short, we’ve gotten very good at finding outside factors to blame for our misfortunes.
It seems to me that admitting we’re responsible for our circumstances in life is the scariest thought of all.
I suspect many of you are now poised to offer examples of unfortunate events that were totally beyond your control and negatively impacted your lives. I’m not suggesting that everything in your life is your fault. I’m simply stating that your life is the sum of your choices — and the consequences of some choices are impossible to predict.
When something bad happens, the only thing we can control is how we respond. We can take full responsibility for our choice, learn from the experience and look for the best path forward — or we can look for someone or something to blame, robbing ourselves of an opportunity to learn and grow.
It really is scary to accept responsibility. To me, it’s the scariest thought of all, and that’s why I think people are so skilled at avoiding it.
But there’s a paradox: while accepting responsibility is scary, it’s also liberating. Once we realize that we have control over our choices, we can make better choices.
By accepting that we have the freedom to choose, we realize we are free.
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
Jim Rohn
1930 – 2009
Copyright © 2016 John Chancellor