The soul is the captain and ruler of the life of mortals.
Sallust
86 – 34 B. C.
A few years ago, I had taken my automobile to the repair shop to have the timing belt changed. I picked it up in the late afternoon and drove it the short distance home. It seemed to be working properly, but when I drove it to work the following morning, I had to cross a bridge with a rather steep grade. The car had trouble getting up the grade.
That afternoon I took it back to the garage and the manager checked out the car. He returned shortly and told me that the mechanic who had done the work had made an error: the timing belt wasn’t properly aligned, causing the plugs not to fire in correct order. The problem was corrected and I was on my way within an hour.
I’ve always remembered how the car seemed fine when it wasn’t under any stress. But when the engine was put under stress, it clearly had no power.
I’ve often thought about how much the incident reminds me of most people in life. As long as things are going smoothly and they’re coasting along in their comfort zone, things are okay. But when they try to accomplish some new goal that stretches their abilities, they’re lacking power. Why is there no power for New Year’s resolutions? Why is there no power to stick with diet or exercise programs? What’s lacking that people can’t adhere to a process of continual learning and self-improvement? Why do so few people actually achieve their goals in life?
Unfortunately, we can’t pop into the repair shop for a simple adjustment. But I’ve given this a lot of thought and believe I have some insight into the problem.
First, we generally aren’t convinced that we’re capable of doing what we set out to do. We try to convince ourselves and others that we’re committed, but deep down, there’s self-doubt. As long as there’s self-doubt, we’re actually giving ourselves permission to fail.
The second problem is that we aren’t sure we’re worthy of the rewards that come with achieving our goals. If we don’t feel worthy, we engage in self-sabotaging activities.
You may recognize these problems as fear of failure and fear of success.
And the last problem is that we don’t have a strong enough reason why. We have no strong emotional attachment to the accomplishment of the goal. If you truly want to achieve any goal, make sure there’s some strong emotional reason that will keep you going when you start to feel challenged.
Before you make a New Year’s resolution or set out to really change your life in some way, make sure you feel confident that you can finish what you start. (If in doubt, seek help and guidance.) Do some self-examination and make sure you feel worthy of the rewards that will come with achieving your goals. And most importantly, make sure you have a strong emotional reason for pursuing the goal.
We often try to accomplish things we feel we should rather than things we really want. This is where the emotional drive is lacking. If we have a strong enough desire, we’ll find the drive to overcome the fear of failure and the fear of success.
You need more than tactics. We try to use logic and willpower to achieve our goals and push us through. We try affirmations, daily reminders, and other techniques to help us achieve our goals. But if you have a strong emotional attachment to your goal, you’ll have all the power you need.
A half-hearted spirit has no power. Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes.
Epictetus
55 – 135 A. D.
Copyright © 2022 John Chancellor