Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other.
Benjamin Franklin
1706 – 1790

I’m not sure where or when the word “cuckoo” became associated with doing something foolish or crazy; I think cuckoo birds are fairly smart and cunning. As proof, I offer the amazing behavior of one species of cuckoo birds, called brood parasites.

Here is what the cuckoo hens do. They find a particular type of nesting bird and stake out its nest. When the nesting hen leaves, the cuckoo bird immediately goes to the nest and lays an egg there. When the unsuspecting hen comes back, she sits on the cuckoo egg along with her own eggs. Most of the time, the cuckoo egg will hatch first and instinctively the young cuckoo hatchling will push the other eggs out of the nest.

A bird of a totally different species will then care for the cuckoo chick just like it was her own. Quite instinctively, she stuffs food into the open mouth of the newly hatched cuckoo. She takes all responsibility for the feeding and caring of the young cuckoo. Seems to me that the cuckoo isn’t crazy; it’s the other species of birds that have been duped.

Now you may be wondering what in the world this little behavior has to do with you. Well, how often someone has acted like a brood parasite cuckoo with you? Have you ever taken responsibility for someone else’s problems? Have you ever been duped into assuming someone else’s burdens?

If we’re honest, most of us will admit that we take on problems not of our making. But we should be a little smarter than the birds that get duped by the cuckoos.

There’s a significant difference between lending support to people in need and assuming responsibility for their troubles. We have an obligation to lend support, but we have a duty not to assume responsibility for the problems of others.

When we take on problems that are not our own, we rob the person with the dilemma of the opportunity to learn from it. Problems offer our greatest growth opportunities. We need problems to make us strong, help us grow and stretch our abilities.

When we try to save someone from their troubles, we generally do so with the best of intentions. We hope to help them over a temporary weakness so that they can become stronger. But what actually happens? We make them weaker. They become dependent on someone else solving their problems.

I think we’re a bit cuckoo when we assume someone else’s problems. We cannot and should not take on someone else’s troubles as our own. Lending a helping hand is one thing; trying to solve someone else’s problems will always prove futile. We overburden ourselves and rob them of the opportunity to learn and grow.

It’s good to lend a hand; just be careful not to become a crutch.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
Helen Keller
1880 – 1968

Copyright © 2021 by John Chancellor