The no-diet diet

Posted on April 9, 2012 by John Chancellor

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy.
William Shakespeare
1564 – 1616

If you’ve ever wanted to get rid of a couple of inches around the waistline, you’ve probably tried a diet. You’re probably also aware that over 90% of people who go on a diet aren’t successful on a long-term basis; whatever weight they drop generally comes back within a short period of time.

You might be surprised to learn that there’s a no-diet diet and it really works. The program resulted from a set of experiments done by Professor Ben Fletcher at the University of Hertfordshire. He was working with groups of people and each day, they had to pick a different option from contrasting behaviors: lively/quiet, reactive/proactive, introvert/extrovert, passive/assertive, generous/stingy, shy/flirty, and so on. If a person was an introvert, she’d choose to act like an extrovert. If a person was normally quiet, he could choose to be lively. Each day, they had to choose a behavior that was the opposite of their typical demeanor, then act in a manner consistent with that behavior. They also had to do something outside of their normal range of activities at least twice weekly.

Now here’s the interesting part: Dr. Fletcher found that after four months, the subjects had lost an average of eleven pounds. They weren’t on a diet; losing weight was simply a by-product of taking part in the psychological experiment.

How can we explain these results? Well, the underlying principle is that we’re ruled by habit. When people acted in ways unlike their normal behavior, they forced themselves to consciously think about their actions; they stopped acting like robots and actually took control of their lives. Instead of acting out of habit, they made conscious decisions about their behavior. And instead of eating out of habit, they became more conscious about what, when and how much they ate.

Does this have implications for other areas of our lives? It certainly does. Professor Fletcher calls this FIT Science — Framework for Internal Transformation. It’s well known that if you want things to change, you need to change. But change is extremely difficult. We can’t transform ourselves through sheer willpower. We need to make a fundamental shift for change to be permanent. And the way to do it is with small steps.

Trying to alter major elements of our lives doesn’t work. It’s too difficult. We need to take small steps to change our habits: bringing little things into our conscious awareness and making deliberate choices. If we can make conscious choices — deciding between two opposing options — we will eventually form new, better habits. We’ll lose weight, get out of our comfort zones and start doing the things we should be doing.

While the participants in the experiment lost weight without being on a diet, the applications for other areas of our lives offer much greater benefits. Any time we attempt to change some major part of our lives, fear of the unknown kicks in to keep us stuck in our comfort zone. We have a built-in fear of change. Couple the fear of change with the power of habit and you’ll begin to see why change is so difficult. But by becoming consciously aware of our choices in life, we can dramatically alter our lives by taking small steps not directly connected with the change we seek.

If you really want to change your life, become aware of the things you do. By concentrating on one small behavior and altering your choices in that area, you can make a habit of consciously considering the choices you face. The more aware you are of your choices, the better choices you’ll make. And better choices lead to improvement in all areas of life.

Nothing is stronger than habit.
Ovid
43 B.C. – A. D. c. 18

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Do you use affirmations?

Posted on April 2, 2012 by John Chancellor

The power to question is the basis of all human progress.
Indira Gandhi
1917 – 1984

If you’ve read any self-help books or attended classes or seminars on personal development, you’ve undoubtedly been exposed to the idea of using affirmations. If you aren’t familiar with affirmations, the idea is to write affirming statements in a journal or repeat them verbally a certain number of times each day. The statements generally promote, encourage, or recognize some desired change in behavior.

Here are some examples of popular affirmations:

  • I am getting better and better each and every day.
  • I will follow my plan/diet/exercise program faithfully each and every day.
  • I will do the most challenging task first each day.

The idea is to use positive self-talk to motivate yourself – to reinforce the changes you want to make in your life and to remind yourself of actions that will make a real difference in your life.

For many of you, your first exposure to affirmations was probably The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper. Remember the story? The little train engine was trying to climb a steep hill and kept telling itself, “I think I can, I think I can.” And it was right; the little engine finally made it up the hill.

The Little Engine makes a good story. But according to research by University of Illinois professor Dolores Albarracin, there might be a better approach. In one experiment, researchers asked a group of participants to spend one minute telling themselves that they could complete a certain task. Another group was instructed to spend a minute asking themselves if they could complete the same task. The result? The second group did better on the task than the group that told themselves they could do it.

In another experiment, the researchers divided the participants into two groups. One group was instructed to write a sentence beginning with “I will”, while the second group was asked to write a sentence beginning with “Will I?” Then both groups were assigned the same task. Again, the group that asked the question rather than affirming the action did better on the task.

So what’s the lesson? It’s simple. If you want to change, don’t rely on affirmations. When we pose a question, the mind seeks an answer. Instead of saying, “I think I can, I think I can”, the Little Engine would have done better by asking, “How can I get up this steep hill?”

Learn to ask yourself, “Will I? or “How can I?” instead of simply telling yourself, “I will.” You’ll be stacking the odds in your favor.

For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?
James Allen
1864 – 1912

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A house divided

Posted on March 26, 2012 by John Chancellor

No tree has branches so foolish as to fight against themselves.
Ojibwa Indian saying

How would you interpret the above quotation? At face value, it’s certainly true: trees don’t have branches that fight each other. So I suspect the Ojibwa Indians must have had humans in mind.

But this idea of fighting against ourselves, of being our own worst enemies, didn’t originate with the Ojibwa Indians. The Roman Poet Ovid, through his character Medea, wrote, “I am dragged along by a strange new force. Desire and reason are pulling in different directions. I see the right way and approve it, but follow the wrong.”

St. Paul, writing in Galatians 5:17, wrote, “For what the flesh desires is opposed to the Spirit, and what the Spirit desires is opposed to the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you want.”

Medea said she saw the right way and approved it but followed the wrong. Was Medea any different from you and me? Were the Ojibwa Indians governed by some different force than we are? Was there something special about the Galatians that prevented them from doing what they wanted to do?

The answer is no; all of them were simply human. If you want to understand why we can’t or won’t do the things we know we should, then you need to understand a bit about how the mind works.

We all have trouble doing the things we know we should. We can’t stay on diets, exercise plans, or self-development programs. We have the best of intentions, but far too often, our intentions simply aren’t good enough.

Why is it so difficult to do the things we know we should? In simple terms, we are a house divided: we each have a mind that works against itself. The rational part of the mind can understand a situation and make a logical decision about the best course of action. But the emotional part of our minds – the subconscious mind – acts automatically and often hijacks control, overruling the rational mind to satisfy emotional needs. Take eating healthy: it’s very easy for our rational mind to “see the right way and approve” healthy eating habits, but after a stressful or upsetting day, our subconscious feels the need for comfort food.

Is there a way to prevent or control this response? Yes, but it’s not what you might think. Typically, we try to control our behavior with willpower, but that technique won’t always succeed when emotional needs are in the driver’s seat. We need to recognize that it’s nearly impossible to exert control over our subconscious mind and instead find ways to make healthy behavior automatic.

If you want to engage in regular exercise, team up with a friend and commit to exercise together; time with your friend will provide emotional rewards. If you want to eat healthier, find a way to shift the decisions so they’re automatic: for instance, don’t allow junk food in the house so that you can’t be tempted. You can also seek out healthy foods that you truly enjoy and keep a ready supply on hand.

Be aware that the mind is divided, with the subconscious mind having significantly more influence over your behavior than the rational mind. If you want to be successful in doing the things “you see and approve”, don’t pin your success on willpower alone.

And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.
The Gospel according to Mark 3:25

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Would you enjoy a pampered life?

Posted on March 19, 2012 by John Chancellor

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
William Wallace
1270 – 1305

Consider this question: would you enjoy a pampered life? Your initial reaction might be, “Of course! I’d love a life where everything was taken care of for me.”

I’ll ask you to reconsider your answer in a moment; first, I want to tell you what made me contemplate the question. There was a news item a few days ago about a penguin that escaped from The Tokyo Sea Life Park. The small Humboldt penguin lived with 134 other penguins at the aquarium. For whatever reason, this bird developed a desire to explore the outside world, so it climbed over a substantial rock barrier and escaped.

My initial reaction was to wonder why in the world a penguin would want to escape from an aquarium. After all, it had lots of company, a steady supply of food, and good medical care – plus, it didn’t have to worry about predators. Initially, it seems like a pretty idyllic life.

But then I started thinking further. Studies show that the average life expectancy of elephants in European zoos is about one third the life expectancy of elephants in the wild. To be fair, some animals in captivity do enjoy longer lives than their natural brethren – but on the whole, it’s mainly very small animals that enjoy this benefit; the smaller the animal, the less stress they suffer from confinement. Elephants in the wild are accustomed to roaming some thirty miles daily. Confining them increases their stress levels and reduces their life expectancy.

So back to my question: would you like to live a life where all your basic needs were met but you were confined and controlled?

Our basic nature is to want freedom. Think about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. First we need the basics of survival: food and shelter. Once those requirements are met, we’re driven to seek goals which are personally more satisfying, with the ultimate goal being self-actualization.

I’m afraid that most of society is becoming more like the 134 penguins that stayed behind. We’re giving up our personal goals and dreams and settling for the basic needs of life.

I’m not sure what happened to that penguin, but I say three cheers for the little bird. It may have a shorter life, but I applaud its efforts to live fully and be free.

May you live all the days of your life.
Jonathan Swift
1667 – 1745

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Do you talk too much?

Posted on March 12, 2012 by John Chancellor

Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is.
Publilius Syrus
1st Century B.C.

I’m sure you’ve known people who are very uncomfortable with silence: they constantly talk even when they have nothing worth saying. At the other end of the spectrum are people who say very little – but when they do speak, their carefully chosen words convey much more than you’d expect.

Here’s my question to you: where do you fit on this continuum? I know people who talk far too much and I know others who are very frugal with their words. There are problems with both extremes. If we talk too much, people tend to listen less. But when we talk too little, we reduce our connectedness; we can become isolated and may give the impression that we aren’t interested in others.

When most of our communication was “live” – when we spoke face to face or on the phone – we could usually judge our impact by paying attention to the listener. If the person became distracted or disinterested, it was a signal that we had lost their attention; we had probably gone on too long without allowing them to participate in the conversation. Now that so much of our communication is digital, there are few direct feedback methods. It’s extremely easy to miss the signs that we’re talking too much.

So how can we know if we’re talking too much and not listening enough? Here are some thoughts for you to consider.

  • Be aware of how much time you spend talking. Are you hogging the conversation? Or is there balanced participation between you and your listeners?
  • Are you talking at or with your listeners? That is, do you try to engage them in discussion, or are you just stating your own opinions?
  • Do you pay attention to other people’s words and respond to what they’ve said? Or do you simply ignore them in favor of whatever you want to say next?
  • What’s your objective? Are you solely interested in demonstrating your knowledge and intelligence? Or is your goal to build a closer relationship through mutual understanding?

One of the most famous quotes from Shakespeare’s King Henry V is, “Men of few words are the best men.” While I think that there’s great value in being a person of few words, I’m not sure that focusing just on the number of words is the key. When we speak, we need to add value to the discussion – and whether it’s live or digital, we ought to participate in conversations, not simply deliver monologues.

I find that far too many exchanges are dominated by too few people. If we each focused on adding more value to our conversations, I believe we would contribute to a better world.

Listen to many, speak to a few.
William Shakespeare
1564 – 1616

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