Unsocial media

Everybody is continuously connected to everybody else on Twitter, on Facebook, on Instagram, on Reddit, e-mailing, texting, faster and faster, with the flood of information jeopardizing meaning. Everybody’s talking at once in a hypnotic, hyper din: the cocktail party from hell.
Maureen Dowd
1952 –

Over the past few years, multiple studies have shown that people find social media stressful and overwhelming–so much so that many of them considered giving it up completely. I have to say, I’m not surprised. When you really examine it, social media is decidedly unsocial.

Social media sites like Facebook were billed as tools for family and friends to stay in touch and share personal news, but unfortunately, those personal messages are being lost in a flood of other information. Anyone who’s been on Facebook recently can tell you that a great deal of social media postings recirculate other people’s content: funny photos and videos, contest information and entries, prayer chains, horoscopes, inspirational quotes, and so on. There’s also plenty of news articles, and sadly, plenty of misinformation too. For individuals with limited free time, the volume of recycled and low-value content can make social media frustrating and unsatisfying.

For some, even personal updates can be a source of frustration. I think we all have at least one friend who’s always bragging about his or her latest accomplishment, purchase, vacation, or night out. Since no one enjoys feeling inferior, it doesn’t take long for bad feelings to develop when we’re constantly subjected to someone else’s highlight reel.

So, short of pulling the plug on your social sites, what can you do to make social media less unsocial and more satisfying?

For a start, pare down your friends list. It’s impossible to keep up with hundreds of friends — you’d have to spend hours a day online to see everyone’s postings. Don’t be afraid to drop the high school classmates you don’t remember, the co-workers from three jobs ago, the neighbors who have moved away or the business acquaintances you barely know. If you’re afraid of hurt feelings, simply mute or unfollow their postings without severing the connection; they won’t know that you aren’t seeing their posts, and you’ll have a streamlined feed that focuses on the people who are most important to you.

Be cautious as well about what you “like” on social sites. Facebook tries to gauge what to show you based on the posts you like, so if you click “like” on a funny video, you’re telling Facebook you enjoy those sorts of posts. Save your likes for personal posts and you’ll have less clutter on your page.

Don’t forget to also consider the amount of time you spend on social sites. It’s easy to start scrolling and spend a lot longer than you intended, which can increase your sense of having wasted your time. Limit yourself to one or two social media breaks a day and set a timer to give yourself a firm cutoff point.

Lastly, don’t forget to be a good social media citizen yourself. Don’t post things constantly, and think before you post; not everything you enjoy needs to be shared.

Social media shouldn’t be an obligation or a source of bad feelings. If your social media activity is making you unhappy, do something about it. The real world is frustrating, chaotic and noisy enough; you don’t need social sites making it worse.

I don’t understand this whole Twitter, Facebook stuff. I don’t get it. Make a phone call. Talk to somebody.
James Avery
1945 – 2013

Copyright © 2020 John Chancellor and Cheryl Chancellor


Unsocial media — 1 Comment

  1. John,

    Great post. It is important to be mindful of who we connect with and our Purpose. I know several who use Facebook as a business platform. As a result they have their private page and their “professional”. And their professional pages seem to be mostly broadcast stations. Although some really do connect and interact.

    My vehicle has been LinkedIn. I have become very conscious of who I invite and or accept into my circle. I want relationships not just contacts. Once a month (I try for more) I reach out to my network and “Catchup” with someone as I believe it keeps the network a relationship and not just connections.

    Take Good Care,