People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
Sounds Of Silence
Simon and Garfunkel
In 1937, Napoleon Hill wrote the classic Think and Grow Rich
Think and Grow Rich is just as valuable today as when it was first written, because the principles of living a better life don’t change. The tools and techniques change, but the core principles remain the same.
I’d like to discuss a simple technique that will greatly enrich anyone who practices it. Employing this technique will help you in all areas of your life.
It’s not a new concept; it’s been around for years. The problem is that we’re using it less and less. The idea is simply to listen: not just to hear what someone says, but to truly listen to what they say — to understand the message they’re trying to communicate.
Here are some ways listening will help improve your life.
- You will immediately have better relationships. Truly listening will eliminate a lot of the misunderstanding that plagues so many connections, both personal and business.
- You will be seen as smarter. You’ll also be perceived to be more caring and more concerned for others. People will naturally come to trust you — and when people trust you, everything becomes easier.
- Actively listening will give you better understanding of what concerns other people. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to build a romantic relationship, a personal relationship or a business relationship; you truly need to understand others to effectively accomplish your goals. The best way to understand others is to actively listen.
Most of us haven’t practiced active listening in so long that we truly don’t know how to listen. Here are some tips.
- Focus totally on the person and what they are saying. Don’t let other activities distract you.
- Wait for the other person to finish talking before you even think about replying. Don’t interrupt to finish their thought, offer a countering point or provide additional support for their argument.
- Pay careful attention to the message. It’s been estimated that in conversation, over 80% of the message is non-verbal. If you’re only hearing the words, you’re missing most of the message.
- Take time to reflect on what was said and the meaning of what was said. It’s not the words that matter. It’s the meaning behind those words.
- Avoid automatic reject mode. Listen carefully and try to see and understand the other person’s perspective.
- Instead of focusing on what you disagree with, try to find points where you agree. Shift your focus. As humans, we are all more alike than different. But too often we focus solely on our differences.
If you engage in active listening, you can’t help but have a richer life.
There was an old owl lived in an oak, the more he heard, the less he spoke;
The less he spoke, the more he heard. O, if men were all like that wise old bird.
Punch
1875
Copyright © 2014 John Chancellor