Are you sending out the wrong message?

In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy.
Karl Reiland

We all constantly send out messages to the world around us, and our results in life are directly related to the messages we convey. Often, we send messages that are destined to attract results other than those we want.

To illustrate the point, let me share a story told by Simon Sinek, a well known speaker and author of the book Start with Why. I’m sure you’ve all encountered panhandlers who sit on the street with poorly lettered cardboard signs asking for donations. Simon observed that all the signs had a similar message: I’m needy; please help me. He believed that by changing the homeless person’s message, he could change their results.

Simon found a street beggar in New York who was willing to work with him on his experiment. In talking with the lady, he learned that she received an average of twenty to thirty dollars during each eight to ten hour day. If she got above thirty dollars, she considered it a great day.

Here’s what Simon did. He changed her sign. Instead of focusing on her plight — homeless and hungry — he gave her a sign that read, “If you only give once a month, next time think of me.”

What were the results? In two hours, she collected fifty dollars. Unfortunately, her mindset was such that she quit for the day, so we’ll never know how much she could have collected.

When the message was focused on her and her needs, she would sit on the street all day and only collect a few dollars. When her message was changed to focus on the passerby, the results increased significantly.

What do most of us focus on in our everyday lives? Ourselves. Our message is generally all about us: what we’re doing, what we need, how things are going (or not going) for us. At times, the messages we send out are very subtle, often operating at the subconscious level. But people are influenced, either positively or negatively, by our messages.

We need to understand and focus on how our messages influence others. When we send out messages that are all about us, we will receive less help from others; our enjoyment of life and our sense of fulfillment will be diminished. The more you make life about helping others, the more others will be willing to help you and the more fulfillment you will experience in life.

Take some time to think about the messages you communicate to the world and make sure you are extending help rather than asking for help.

Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you. 
Mother Teresa
1910 – 1997

Copyright © 2012 John Chancellor

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