It is much better to die of hunger unhindered by grief and fear than to live affluently beset with worry, dread, suspicion and unchecked desire.
Epictetus
55 – 135 A.D.
In response to last week’s lesson (Getting or Giving) I received an email from a reader in Australia. The letter was beautifully written and illustrated first hand the point of the lesson. I felt it was so valuable I wanted to share it with you. (Editor’s note — the words have not been changed to reflect the American spelling.)
I’ve not long been on your mailing list, but I have loved reading your words and thinking about the message or lessons contained within. This Lesson (Getting or Giving) was of particular relevance to me because it relates directly to a realisation I came to in my own life about 18 months ago or so.
I was deeply depressed with my life, and on this one particular November evening as I looked around my house, with myriad material possessions seemingly adorning each room, I was struck with a profound sense to simplify and get rid of all this “stuff”. It simply didn’t bring me happiness (and I wondered if it ever really did). It became apparent that my life had become completely devoid of passion, experiences and fun. Additionally, I had become accustomed to living a life that was concerned only with security — acquiring it and maintaining it. Fear had taken over too and I no longer took risks because of the fear of losing my security…
My “light bulb moment” spawned a process of selling a lot of excess items from my home, and even now, that process continues. I even went from driving a car to a motorbike — not only is it cheaper and easier to maintain, but it’s brought the fun back to my daily commutes! I’ve also made some serious decisions about the future and will be embarking on an overseas teaching adventure next year, which is something I wanted to do five years ago but again let fear take over. The fear then was of being out of my comfort zone and not having all the things that I had surrounded myself with — the home theatre, computer, music, DVDs… etc. These things simply anchored me, and although I thought they brought me joy, they actually stopped me from moving.
Lately though, I’ve been drawn to the idea of reducing my “stuff” so that fits into a box. It’s an ideal I suppose. Obviously boxes come in different sizes, I know, but from a purely hypothetical point of view, the goal is to be able to say that my stuff fits into a box. The smaller the box, the less anchored I’ll be.
And as far as giving is concerned, it also became apparent to me that my work was all about helping a company get richer whilst I preserved my salary. At what point was I really helping or giving to others? I wasn’t. It didn’t help me feel any better about working, knowing that the company I worked for was morally bankrupt. Being given a redundancy package was an absolute blessing, for it allowed me to move into a more satisfying field of work. It also prompted me to take a few risks and not play it safe as I had done previously, simply by taking another position offered by the company and maintaining my salary and all the entitlements I’d banked.
I knew that I needed to give because I’d spent so long taking. Everything I did was about me. And I knew this had to change. I’m not yet working in a job that directly contributes or assists other people in a way I consider meaningful, but I am getting closer. The move overseas will certainly allow me to give more and impart my knowledge on others, but to be honest, I wish I could give more than that. I don’t know how, or in what capacity, but I just know I’d love to make a meaningful contribution to someone’s life, somehow. Perhaps opportunities will present themselves to me when I am overseas — who knows?
BK
Australia
O divine master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive.
St. Francis of Assisi
c. 1181 – 1226